Something will be missing this year...

My mom. for all of my adult life, has called me at exactly 2:10 pm every September 7th to wish me a happy birthday.   I have always imagined her sitting there... watching the clock for that exact moment.   It was that important to her.  So it was important to me.   I have watched the clock waiting on my mom to call on my birthday.  

    One year I'd worked the night before and slept through the call.  I felt bad.  Not for me... but for her... because I knew it was important to her.

So this year... will be my first without Mom's call.    I miss her.   I know how important I was to her.  And she always made sure my birthday was always a big deal.  I recall the home birthday parties.   Not the expensive ordeals kids today get.   I remember my mom decorating with paper streamers and sometimes a cake, sometimes homemade... always ice cream to go with the cake.   And I remember LOVING those parties.  

As time progressed and I grew up, Mom would remind me of upcoming birthdays... including my son's and my own.   lol   This always tickled me.

I'll miss those reminders.   I'll miss my 2:10 call.    I'd give anything to rewind to a previous birthday.    ...To have her ask me if I knew what happened at that time, however many years before (as if this was the first time she'd ever asked me this question on my birthday)...  

I skipped Mother's Day... stayed home... buried in.   I know I can't do this every birthday and holiday.  It wouldn't be healthy.. and it wouldn't be what Mom would want for me.   I've always associated my birthday with my Mom...  after all.. she did all the work.  I kinda just.. showed up.   :)

Miss you Mom.  And this Wednesday at 2:10.... I'll miss you even more.